Week Five - Down 2 (5 lbs total)

I was afraid to post during the week this time in case I jinxed anything. But I have good news.

I am officially in the 150's!! I knew I had a good week! Even Saturday - which is usually more tough just cause it's so different - even that was a good day! In fact, it was great! A good workout in the morning makes having a good eating day much easier.

The elliptical has been SO difficult for me! A month ago, I would have laughed if anyone would have told me I would have stayed on it for 30 minutes. But guess what? Yesterday, I did it!! It feels SO rewarding. Thank you Taylor for letting me take your ipod - what a huge difference that makes! Minutes go by so much faster with motivating, loud music pumping me through it.

Has anyone seen that new show on TLC called "I Can Make You Thin"? It is so interesting. Google it and check it out. I have been very mindful of "conscious eating" which is what the first show was about. I have a hard time believing one part of this plan. It is eating what you want when you want. Paul McKenna says if you are hungry - EAT! And eat what you want, as long as you eat consciously, chewing every bite 20 times, and stopping when you are satisfied. Sounds a little crazy? I know. It was easy to justify a cadbury egg today cause I just said, "my body wants it!!" I'm so curious to learn more about him and his plan.

It seems like if I continue to have weeks like this one (working out at least 5 days and eating well) then I should be losing weight faster. I certainly hope that is true, so I can see the fruits of my efforts. Today, I am just happy to see that number 5 on the scale after the number 1 - (even if the third one is 9!)

I feel motivated to have another great week.


I CAN!

Week Four - Up 1

Thanks for the phone call to post this mom. That's what I need - people waiting for the weekly results so I can be accountable. As you can see, I wasn't as anxious to put up the numbers this time. This is the reason I was so reluctant to do this blog in the first place. Dang.

I could give you all the excuses in the world. But instead, I am just going to say that yes, I am disappointed. Even though I had some great eating days, I didn't have such a great workout week, and not ALL my eating days went well. It's tough to post this after my last post is titled "Gaining Control."

Oprah says that she needs to work harder to lose weight, and even stay a certain weight than most people. That's just how her body is. I believe we have the same body type. My body is so touchy. Sometimes it feels that just one bad day results in weight gain. I wish it was as easy for me to lose as it is for me to gain - well of course, don't we all?!

I am really excited to have a good week. At first, my determination was crushed when I realized that it is Spring Break. All the kids are home. Easter candy is everywhere. Schedules are - well there aren't any! But then I realized that there will always be an excuse, no matter what. So, I WILL have a good week. So far, so good. Thank you Beth for the encouragement to go to the gym first thing!

I need everyone to tell my sweet husband that bringing home fresh baked cookies doesn't help. I explained to him that yes, they are okay every once in a while when you are just maintaining your weight - but not when you are trying to lose it!!! I do believe that if I don't indulge in a mini dove chocolate square here and there, that I will end up binging, but I can' t have such tempting treats laying around like fresh baked snicker doodles, fudge cookies, and chocolate chip cookies. Yes, it's my choice whether to actually put them in my mouth, but I have a hard time saying no every time. Sorry honey, I know you were trying to be nice, but not bringing it home until I lose this weight is what is even nicer! Love you!

Encouragement, motivation, and whatever else you think will help is much appreciated here ladies - the blog comments, the phone calls, the packs of gum, the book suggestions, and the "You can do its" is appreciated more than you know. I love you all, and thank you so much!

.

Gaining Control

First of all, I can't thank everyone enough for their awesome, wonderful support. You just couldn't imagine what it does for me right now. This is going to help, I just KNOW it!!

The past couple days, my eating has totally been in control. It actually feels foreign - truly foreign. It is so strange because I'm simply not used to it. But of course, it feels wonderful.

Every other weight loss attempt I have ever made (besides the first one 5 years ago) haven't had enough emphasis on the eating part - at all. I would start an exercise program (I have joined and un-joined Curves, I have gone to the rec center across the street, I have walked in the mornings, I have tried pilates) all of these last for about three-ish months. I usually get too frustrated that I am not seeing the results I want, so I quit, until next time. Along with those programs I start come small eating changes, but never really sacrificial eating changes, make sense? This time, I am truly eating differently - BIG changes, not itty bitty changes and then expect the pounds to melt away. I never thought I could do this. I can't count how many times I have told myself that I simply couldn't do it because I have zero will power.

For the first time in my life, I feel like I have will power. As silly as I feel having my eyes well up with tears right now because I am able to pass up french fries, the feeling is better than one can imagine. The desire to eat to live rather than live to eat is strong and real. It feels SO good! I can finally see what I have been reading and what I have heard for years, that "FOOD IS FUEL!" Understanding WHY we eat has made all the difference. I have known it, but NEVER lived it. Food is also to enjoy. That's why I will enjoy birthday cake and Starbucks cookies on occasion. But I don't feel like I need them to get through my day. I just feel happy lately.

Several of you have mentioned wanting to hop on the weight loss blog thing. GO FOR IT! We can all help each other so much! Just making entries like this one is just awesome and so helpful - I can't wait to see some of yours - LET'S DO THIS!!!!

(and Happy Birthday to my dear friend, Misty!)

Rough day so far...

Today is tough. My biggest downfall is junkfood laying around. Some days, it is SO hard to resist it. Today, it's Taylor's left over birthday donuts and birthday cake. I put the cake in the oven, which really is all I need - just get it out of my sight and then usually I can forget about it. The donuts, I keep saying "ONE bite." - I have said that six times. Time to toss those in the oven too. Or how about the trash?! There are only a couple left anyway.

Also, I should be coming home from the gym about now. I am so much better when I know someone is counting on me to go. Today my work out partner Lisa, couldn't make it - too much going on. That is too perfect for me to think of all the things I can be getting done also. The day is far from over. I can still get a work out in. I know I always feel 100% better when I do - should be easier to just go. Besides, tonight is my favorite show, "The Biggest Loser" and I always feel SO guilty and yucky if I haven't worked out that day while I watch it!

Week Three - Down 2

Well, I must admit, I was totally shocked at this weigh in. I have been dreading it big time.


This week, Jack was home sick from school for 3 days! I work out when he is at school, so I missed all three of those days, plus Friday because I watched my friend's children. Still, I know I could have found other times - worked out late - done something at home. Yes, I know all of that. I just didn't.

Usually when I don't work out, my eating then goes to kaput, which is what happened on Saturday - bad day. I grazed all day, and on almost anything. I told Chip I wanted to boycott the weigh-in, but he wouldn't let me. (I didn't really want to, just kinda!) That's why I was shocked to see me down two pounds. I figured my good week from before caught up to me? I don't know. I need to have a better work-out week next week for sure to maintain my numbers going down!

I hate water. Just thought I'd share.




Can't weight to see those hips start to slim down. That has always been, and probably always will be, my most trouble spot on my body. ick.

Week Two - Down 1.5

I had a great week as far as working out and eating goes!


I was at the gym 5 days this week. Every day I was on the elliptical for 20 minutes (that is a killer for me!) and I alternate leg and arm workouts with weight machines every other day. I work out my abs every day too.

I never ate past dinner this week, and was able to turn away many treats that haunted me! I don't want to deprive myself, for fear of going crazy! So, I will have bites of things here and there, or a very small serving of something.

I was kinda disappointed at my numbers - I thought my efforts should have showed better results on the scale. But I'm happy that atleast the number went down.


I hate picture time, but I think it will really help me as I do this.

Week One

I chose the jeans that I look the worst in for my weekly weigh-in pictures. And the shirt, I love. I used to wear it - 15 pounds ago - just can't wear it anymore because I'm falling out of it. I will wear the same outfit every weigh in.

I have been this weight for a few years now. I think this is my comfortable weight when I don't care, and don't take care of myself.

It's all changing now,

because I'm losing it!

Help Me Succeed!

I'M GONNA LOSE IT!!

I can't tell you how many times I have said this - and how many different situations I have said it in - sometimes while laughing, sometimes while yelling, and many times while crying.

I have said it when I have misplaced something for the100th time.

I have said it when my patience has been pushed to the very edge.

I have said it when I have had to repeat directions to my children more than a few times.

I have said it (many times) while looking at my reflection in the mirror - and the unwanted pounds on my body.

But I want to be done saying it for that reason. I have spent way, way too long wanting to be done.

About 5 years ago, I hit rock bottom with the depression that came with being 210 pounds. This picture was taken around that time. It's difficult to see pictures of me at this size, because I see so much behind the smile, that others didn't.

With the support of friends and family, and ofcourse, willpower, I lost 60 pounds, going from a size 20, to a size 12. I did it the good ol' "more moving and less eating" way. I was 151 pounds when I left California, and even though I still had in mind to lose a little more, I actually felt pretty good.

I never did lose another pound. Infact, shortly after moving to Idaho, it slowly started coming back.

So did the depression. I gained about 20 pounds.

Since then, on many occasions I thought I had come close enough to that rock bottom place to where I was ready to "lose it" again. Pun intended. I have made promise after promise to myself. I have started and stopped many attempts at this ever so difficult weightloss challenge. I have lost a few pounds, and gained some back, again and again. I have weighed 164 pounds, give or take a couple, for a very long time now. At one point I told myself that this is just the size I will be forever. I tried to tell myself that it's not that bad - and that I can be happy.

I was SO wrong. So, here I am. Again.

I have a different feeling about it this time - hard to explain - but it's positive.

Chip suggested keeping a blog this time - putting it out there for all (actually, a carefully selected group) to see. At first I thought he was nuts, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Now I am accountable to my readers.

That's where all of you come in. I can't do this without your help! I am asking each of you to, if you haven't already, set up an account so you are able to post on my blog. Then I need you to check my progress regularly, and comment, comment, comment!

I am sending this to only those I feel comfortable sharing such personal feelings and well, my weight with! People I want on this whole journey with me - people who I know will help and support. All advice is very welcomed too!

I will weigh in every Sunday evening, and post it on my blog. That's the only part I know for sure. I'll probably post a little here and there during the week also. We'll just see how it goes.

I will also be using my awesome husband's motto he used on his 48 day long bike ride -

"I CAN!"

So, here we go.... here's to losing it - the good kind of losing it!


Thank you everybody!