Upward and Onward

Hello my friends. Your comments are all so awesome and motivating. I ponder each one of them and think about them often. Thank you very much!

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I am definitely more in control now. I am aware of EVERY bite that goes into my mouth. I record it all on fitday.com. That website tells me according to my lifestyle and weight, how many calories I burn on a daily basis, compared to how many I eat. I also googled a website that told me how many calories I need to eat in order to loose weight, and also how many if I want "extreme fat loss."

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Anyway, in order to see weight loss, it said I need to eat 1660 calories a day. In order for "extreme fat loss" I need to eat 1440 calories a day.

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I have actually been doing pretty well with this! It is not easy, but sometimes I actually enjoy the challenge in a way. For example, today, I have eaten 1,039 calories so far. It is 5:45 pm. So, I know I can have a 400 (approx) calorie dinner and maybe even a little treat or a cup of hot chocolate later (my favorite thing to do is sip that and watch a show I recorded after the kids are in bed!)

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Anyway, it's going pretty well. Except for Easter Sunday - if you saw something flying threw the air that morning.... it was my calorie count that I threw right out the window that day!! Yes, I enjoyed me some good food that day, including Cadbury chocolate eggs and to die for funeral potatoes - a great big serving!!

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I went to the gym two days this week and walked in the neighborhood two days. I am also trying to do Yoga at night that I record from the tv - but that only happened two evenings last week. It's ok! I do like the way Yoga makes me feel.

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It feels good to care. It feels good to take care of myself! I can't wait to see some results! I gain it oh so quickly, and lose it oh so very slowly. Frustrating sometimes, but I know that is just me.

Remember Me?

I thought this blog was long gone - time to delete it. But some good friends have convinced me to get it going again, not to give up, and are encouraging me, which is comforting.

I was venting - (while crying) to them about life and weight and how it's all so difficult. I was saying how frustrated I was with it all and can't find what it takes to get going again.

Two and a half months ago, I had major surgery, a hysterectomy. I was so excited to feel fantastic after recovery and really "start" my life since my life was put on hold every month with the worst cycles ever. So here I am, recovered...... and bigger than I have been in about 7 years. During recovery, I was so blessed with delicious meals and a wonderful husband and children who did EVERYthing for me. But I wasn't so blessed with the FIFTEEN pounds that came along with it all.

I am in need of change. I am watching my life pass every day and feeling horrible.

Nothing fits me. Literally.

Hoping this blog will help light the fire. I have many bouts of inspiration and motivation, and I keep thinking, "This is the day" - but I just haven't quite gotten there. Sometimes I just don't get myself.

How can I feel this way and yet not do all I can to help myself?

I don't know. I really don't! But I know I am not happy with myself, that is for sure.