I'm Gonna Lose It!: June 2008

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Still Alive

Are you wondering where I am? I know.

I'm here - I just haven't quite wrapped my brain around getting on the ball again - with a lot of things.

But as far as this difficult quest called weightloss goes - yes, I am still on it.

I had no idea how going on a little trip would throw me off this badly. Let's focus on the positive first. I am happy to say that I am working out every day again - thanks to Beth's desire to go too. Shoot - now the negative.

I gained 5 pounds in California! Seriously - tell me this is not normal!!! Sometimes I feel that just looking at high calorie foods puts the pounds on. Let's me honest though - I didn't just look at it in CA - but still!! I've lost a couple since then, but my good eating patterns aren't coming back as I had hoped they would. If I don't change them soon (like, today) - my work outs will only help me maintain my weight rather than lose it.

Anyone have any motivation out there? I need it.

Oh, and we don't have our camera battery right now, so no pictures till we get it. Darn.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Week Fourteen - 153.5 - Down 2

YIPPEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

It feels so very good to be going down!

If you haven't read why I've been feeling so happy lately, make sure you read the post before this one first. Still pinching myself...

I'm getting closer to my goal of 145. Heck, I might even make it 140! Now that I know I won't be in a size 12 forever, I'm beginning to think that anything is possible! Seriously... you just can't possibly know what that did for my spirits.

The ups and downs of weight loss are very real. The ups and downs on the scale, and the ups and downs emotionally. As long as I know that are going to happen, I think I will be okay. One who is trying to lose weight cannot expect the numbers to go straight down. I know that now. I am very grateful that I am on a down hill right now. I am also very grateful that I have all of your support when the numbers are staying the same, or worse - going up!

I will be in California next Sunday, when I usually weigh in and post. I'm really nervous to get off track while I am there. I just don't want to beat myself up if I don't do as well as I would like. I might be able to post while I am there for a little update - we'll see.

Still not one sip of soda. Actually, I'm lying. One day, I was desperate for a drink of anything and the only thing around was Chip's soda. I took a swig and guess what? I hated it!!!!!! It felt weird and tasted strange. I'm glad that happened actually, because although I have stayed away from it, I kinda missed my friendship with my diet pepsi, and thought about it often. :) I don't anymore though - I've moved on. Maybe there is a connection with quitting diet soda, and seeing the numbers on the scale go down and fitting into a size ten? Hmmmm.. I wonder. I'd like to say my sacrifice of soda has helped me these past couple of weeks. Even if it hasn't, I think I'll believe it did!!

Thank you everyone, once again, for your love and support. Can't do it without you!

My Story

I can't tell you how many times I have said "I"M GONNA LOSE IT" - and how many different situations I have said it in - sometimes while laughing, sometimes while yelling, and many times while crying. I have said it when I have misplaced something for the100th time. I have said it when my patience has been pushed to the very edge. I have said it when I have had to repeat directions to my children more than a few times. I have said it (many times) while looking at my reflection in the mirror - and the unwanted pounds on my body. But I want to be done saying it for that reason. I have spent way, way too long wanting to be done.

About 5 years ago, I hit rock bottom with the depression that came along with being 210 pounds. It is so difficult to see pictures of me at this size, because I see so much behind the smile, that others didn't. With the support of friends and family, and ofcourse, willpower, I lost 60 pounds, going from a size 18/20, to a size 12. I did it the good ol' "more moving and less eating" way. I was 151 pounds when I left California, and even though I still had in mind to lose a little more, I actually felt pretty good.

I never did lose another pound. Infact, shortly after moving to Idaho, it slowly started coming back. So did the depression. I gained about 20 pounds.

Since then, on many occasions I thought I had come close enough to that rock bottom place to where I was ready to "lose it" again. Pun intended. I have made promise after promise to myself. I have started and stopped many attempts at this ever so difficult weightloss challenge. I have lost a few pounds, and gained some back, again and again. I have weighed 164 pounds, give or take a couple, for a very long time now. At one point I told myself that this is just the size I will be forever. I tried to tell myself that it's not that bad - and that I can be happy. I was SO wrong. So, here I am. Again. I have a different feeling about it this time - hard to explain - but it's positive.

Chip suggested keeping a blog this time - putting it out there for all (actually, a carefully selected group) to see. At first I thought he was nuts, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Now I am accountable to my readers. That's where all of you come in. I can't do this without your help! I am asking each of you to, if you haven't already, set up an account so you are able to post on my blog. Then I need you to check my progress regularly, and comment!

I am sending this to you because I know you will inspire me along the way.

I am trying to be use my awesome husband's motto he used on his 48 day long bike ride -"I CAN!"

So, here we go.... here's to losing it - the weight, that is! My goal is 145. Honestly, I can't even fathom it, but I know I would feel on top of the world.

Thank you everybody!

I'm Gonna Lose It!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Still Alive

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Week Fourteen - 153.5 - Down 2

My Story

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