Are you wondering where I am? I know.
I'm here - I just haven't quite wrapped my brain around getting on the ball again - with a lot of things.
But as far as this difficult quest called weightloss goes - yes, I am still on it.
I had no idea how going on a little trip would throw me off this badly. Let's focus on the positive first. I am happy to say that I am working out every day again - thanks to Beth's desire to go too. Shoot - now the negative.
I gained 5 pounds in California! Seriously - tell me this is not normal!!! Sometimes I feel that just looking at high calorie foods puts the pounds on. Let's me honest though - I didn't just look at it in CA - but still!! I've lost a couple since then, but my good eating patterns aren't coming back as I had hoped they would. If I don't change them soon (like, today) - my work outs will only help me maintain my weight rather than lose it.
Anyone have any motivation out there? I need it.
Oh, and we don't have our camera battery right now, so no pictures till we get it. Darn.
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Whether I think I can, or I think I can't... I'm right.
"A year from now, you may wish you had started today"- Robert Schuller
"The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work." Arthur Brisbane
"The tragedy in life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach." Benjamin Mays
My Story
I can't tell you how many times I have said "I"M GONNA LOSE IT" - and how many different situations I have said it in - sometimes while laughing, sometimes while yelling, and many times while crying. I have said it when I have misplaced something for the100th time. I have said it when my patience has been pushed to the very edge. I have said it when I have had to repeat directions to my children more than a few times. I have said it (many times) while looking at my reflection in the mirror - and the unwanted pounds on my body. But I want to be done saying it for that reason. I have spent way, way too long wanting to be done.
About 5 years ago, I hit rock bottom with the depression that came along with being 210 pounds. It is so difficult to see pictures of me at this size, because I see so much behind the smile, that others didn't. With the support of friends and family, and ofcourse, willpower, I lost 60 pounds, going from a size 18/20, to a size 12. I did it the good ol' "more moving and less eating" way. I was 151 pounds when I left California, and even though I still had in mind to lose a little more, I actually felt pretty good.
I never did lose another pound. Infact, shortly after moving to Idaho, it slowly started coming back. So did the depression. I gained about 20 pounds.
Since then, on many occasions I thought I had come close enough to that rock bottom place to where I was ready to "lose it" again. Pun intended. I have made promise after promise to myself. I have started and stopped many attempts at this ever so difficult weightloss challenge. I have lost a few pounds, and gained some back, again and again. I have weighed 164 pounds, give or take a couple, for a very long time now. At one point I told myself that this is just the size I will be forever. I tried to tell myself that it's not that bad - and that I can be happy. I was SO wrong. So, here I am. Again. I have a different feeling about it this time - hard to explain - but it's positive.
Chip suggested keeping a blog this time - putting it out there for all (actually, a carefully selected group) to see. At first I thought he was nuts, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Now I am accountable to my readers. That's where all of you come in. I can't do this without your help! I am asking each of you to, if you haven't already, set up an account so you are able to post on my blog. Then I need you to check my progress regularly, and comment!
I am sending this to you because I know you will inspire me along the way.
I am trying to be use my awesome husband's motto he used on his 48 day long bike ride -"I CAN!"
So, here we go.... here's to losing it - the weight, that is! My goal is 145. Honestly, I can't even fathom it, but I know I would feel on top of the world.
Thank you everybody!
About 5 years ago, I hit rock bottom with the depression that came along with being 210 pounds. It is so difficult to see pictures of me at this size, because I see so much behind the smile, that others didn't. With the support of friends and family, and ofcourse, willpower, I lost 60 pounds, going from a size 18/20, to a size 12. I did it the good ol' "more moving and less eating" way. I was 151 pounds when I left California, and even though I still had in mind to lose a little more, I actually felt pretty good.
I never did lose another pound. Infact, shortly after moving to Idaho, it slowly started coming back. So did the depression. I gained about 20 pounds.
Since then, on many occasions I thought I had come close enough to that rock bottom place to where I was ready to "lose it" again. Pun intended. I have made promise after promise to myself. I have started and stopped many attempts at this ever so difficult weightloss challenge. I have lost a few pounds, and gained some back, again and again. I have weighed 164 pounds, give or take a couple, for a very long time now. At one point I told myself that this is just the size I will be forever. I tried to tell myself that it's not that bad - and that I can be happy. I was SO wrong. So, here I am. Again. I have a different feeling about it this time - hard to explain - but it's positive.
Chip suggested keeping a blog this time - putting it out there for all (actually, a carefully selected group) to see. At first I thought he was nuts, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Now I am accountable to my readers. That's where all of you come in. I can't do this without your help! I am asking each of you to, if you haven't already, set up an account so you are able to post on my blog. Then I need you to check my progress regularly, and comment!
I am sending this to you because I know you will inspire me along the way.
I am trying to be use my awesome husband's motto he used on his 48 day long bike ride -"I CAN!"
So, here we go.... here's to losing it - the weight, that is! My goal is 145. Honestly, I can't even fathom it, but I know I would feel on top of the world.
Thank you everybody!
Blog Archive
started 9/24
9 comments:
You looked great at the gym yesterday! I know how hard it is. I guess we just keep trying EVERY TIME. So many times I just say "What the heck?" and let it go for so long after a slip. I need to get right back on track and keep on keeping on.
You Rock!
Steph
I love you and you can do it! I lost forty pounds two years ago. I just kept at it and eventually my body got on board.
i work so hard and lose only half a pound. but if i slip and eat one little thing, i gain five. i feel for you and will be thinking of you while we are on vacation this coming week! wish me luck!
I am so glad that you are back. I checked every day and was so happy to see you back online. You can do this. I know you can. I am so with you. The fact that we can relax...but just get back to it..means that we haven't failed. Take one bite at a time....one pound at a time....one day at a time....You are the best!!
Love you,
Lisa
You should be happy! Happy that your back of track to reaching your goal! Don't look at wieght loss as a burden but a way to making you a better person inside and out. Your weight loss journey is HELPING you get to where you want to be. It really is a GOOD thing! If it was bad, then why are you doing it?
And don't roll your eyes at me. Enough with the negativity!
Just start where you are and begin again. No amount of flogging will change the past, so stop beating yourself up. It is what it is. Forget about it. You had a great time here, don't regret it and ruin your vacation because you have attached negative feelings to your trip, but also don't let it be a reason to "fall off the wagon". You got ta want ta. Gives you a whole new empathy for people who can't quit smoking or drinking, doesn't it. Fresh courage take!!
Love,Mom
I think you look great, Tracy! I'm very impressed with this whole weight loss blog and how you're opening up yourself to all of us. You go, girl! Just keep swimming, just keep swimming... or sputtering, coughing, swallowing, and choking as it is in our case!!!
Love, Kris :D
You really are an inspiration to so many people ---especially me! I am so happy you are back, and I know you will do great.
So, it's been a few weeks since I've looked at your blog. So, I had to get caught up. First of all, WOW! You were on roll at the end of May and beginning of June. What an unbelievably rewarding shopping experience, fitting into a size 10! I am so glad you have weened yourself from the soda and fill your cup with crushed ice instead! As for the weight gain on vacation, I quote Tol, "evs" this means "whatever". (He got it from "Rock Star Supernova") Just put it in your past and keep moving on. You'll get back in the swing of things and those pounds will start melting off again. Soon those 10s will start drooping and you'll have 8s in your dressing room!
Love ya,
Nikki
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