I thought this blog was long gone - time to delete it. But some good friends have convinced me to get it going again, not to give up, and are encouraging me, which is comforting.
I was venting - (while crying) to them about life and weight and how it's all so difficult. I was saying how frustrated I was with it all and can't find what it takes to get going again.
Two and a half months ago, I had major surgery, a hysterectomy. I was so excited to feel fantastic after recovery and really "start" my life since my life was put on hold every month with the worst cycles ever. So here I am, recovered...... and bigger than I have been in about 7 years. During recovery, I was so blessed with delicious meals and a wonderful husband and children who did EVERYthing for me. But I wasn't so blessed with the FIFTEEN pounds that came along with it all.
I am in need of change. I am watching my life pass every day and feeling horrible.
Nothing fits me. Literally.
Hoping this blog will help light the fire. I have many bouts of inspiration and motivation, and I keep thinking, "This is the day" - but I just haven't quite gotten there. Sometimes I just don't get myself.
How can I feel this way and yet not do all I can to help myself?
I don't know. I really don't! But I know I am not happy with myself, that is for sure.
19 comments:
Hey Tracy! I think this is fantastic and I am proud of you for putting it out here. Just this morning, I was whining about my weight too. Maybe we can inspire each other through this battle. You will do it, I know you will and I will help any way I can!
Debbie
Oh the hated weight game, I am so crazy about this stuff. I hate gaining weight as well, it really messes with my self esteem. I have so been through what you are talking about, the surgery thing really puts a damper on things and gets you pretty down in the dumps. I am on a little "plan" myself :) Give me a call and we can share ideas! I think you're great, and you can count on me to help push you along :) Love, Heidi
Tracy~ You're so awesome! I can't believe how brave you are to put this out for everyone to see. If you EVER, and I mean, EVER want a walking partner...give me a call. I've been looking for one for a while. I always want to go in the evenings, and no else does. I can bust out a hefty couple of miles! Give me a call....<3 Amy
I understand trying to attain a goal and falling short over and over again. The guilt and the sadness that comes with it is unbearable. I see so many things that you are good at…loving others so easily, serving willingly, smiling- even when you don’t feel like it. You appreciate others and let them know how much they are needed. Every person has things that come so easily and naturally to them (I’m not saying these things come easily to you, but they are qualities I notice in you) …but we all have different things that are so hard for us to attain. If we were to only continue to do those things that come easily to us and ignore those things that are so difficult for us, we would never amount to anything great. It is by working on our challenges each day that makes us a stronger, more compassionate person. When we want something so much, we will attain it. It is only when we are apathetic that we receive no reward. So, it is so helpful to have people lifting us up and reminding us of how much we want something. We definitely can’t do it alone. I’m so glad you are doing this blog. It helps me in remembering what I am working towards in my life. So many days I just want to give up and eat the whole bag of peanut M&M’s, and just say, “This is just too hard.” I know when I wallow in my own misery and push everyone out of my life, it just gets worse. But when I know I have someone who is cheering for me, I start believing more in myself. When I know someone (or better- a bunch of people) who cares about my success, the fire starts to come back, and I feel like I can do anything. We are cheering you on Tracy! You are an awesome lady. You really can do anything…you can do this!
Tracy, I am so proud of you for starting over. It gets so discouraging, but it's like repentance...it's OK to start over again and again and again!
I'm going to just suggest running, because you know I'm a running freak. Nothing beats a good run to burn calories, and if you find the right group of friends to run with, it helps so much. I'm not saying running will solve the weight issue, because I have totally learned that I have to watch what I eat regardless of how much exercise I do, but it really makes you feel like you've accomplished something when you've run 4 or 5 miles first thing in the morning.
Tracy, I am so impressed and inspired by you! I know how difficult weight can be, especially when your clothes don't fit. The hardest part is getting started and you've already done that by putting yourself out there! I wish you all the best, I know you can reach your goals! Share your tips along the way, I've got some baby weight to loose! :) "Lose it, sista!" :) Love, Brandi
Tracy - Good for you! You are taking the first steps to healthy living! Notice that I didn't say losing weight... I think that healthy living will include weight loss while helping you live better and healthier! I think weight loss is dependent on two things 1. what goes in your mouth - I've heard it's 80% the plan and 2. how many calories you expend each day. Both of these things are HARD! However, very doable with your positive attitude! You've got a membership to Gold's, right? You've got a computer with internet, right? You've learned about good food choices with Weight Watchers, right? Well, you are on your way!!! Just remember, it takes 21 times to make your workouts a habit. This is the perfect time of year to start because the weather is great and it stays lighter longer so you can get outside if the gym isn't an option. I seriously recommend going to one of my favorite blogs called trainermomma.com. She is a wealth of information and just did a post on "where to start?" Go there now and read up on what she has to say.
You can do this, Tracy! I'm behind ya all the way! Good luck and keep us all posted! We want you to succeed.
Tracy, you can do this. And you do not have to do it alone. You obviously have a great support with friends and family. We all think you are amazing. I heard a really amazing quote the other day that I've been thinking about for a while. Someone asked a woman with a debilitating illness if she ever wished that she could turn back the clock and go back to when she was healthy, thinner, etc. She replied this way: If you are reading a really good book and you are on chapter 8, do you ever wish that you could go back to chapter 2? No! You want to see what happens next! You already know what happens in the previous chapters and it was great, but the excitement is in finding out what happens in the rest of the book. The same is true about life. You've done the other stuff, now it's time to live now and be excited about this chapter and the ones that are coming up. Love you to pieces! I need my gym buddy!
Good inspire me! I did fifty pregnancy pounds in a year. BUT THE LAST FREAKING TEN POUNDS IS MADE OF CONCRETE AND STUCK TO MY BUTTOCKS!!!
Tracy you are amazing! You have inspired me(again!) Totally here for you you sister. I think I might even do something similar. You go girl, I am so behind you a 100%.
Tracy, You are awesome! And you can do this! You always inspire me!! GO GET 'EM!
Ok little missie. I am back from the land of no internet....Union OR. Proud of you....get back in there. It is time to be the butterfly...did you read that story?
L
Hi Tracy,
It's Cousin Jenny (Aunt Annie's daughter). I'm glad you're back. I had stopped checking this blog because I thought you had shut it down. Your posts are very candid and I enjoy reading them. Take care and remember: It's progress, not perfection.
Hi princess! Dude. you were skinny when you met me. And you have been thin most of your life. Remember that because you are a thin person in a very short "fat" phase. i on the other hand have only had 2 very short "skinny" phases. Consequently I feel responsible for your conversion to the chunk side as my fluffiness must be contagious. It all began at the Gerdes house with the community fork and endless desserts on the counter... Know that i love you tons...that the last time i'm gonna say "tons". So as you know...we way the same. And I struggle daily and sooo get this. But I'm trying something different this time. And its clicking and making sense. FInally. I'll post some tidbits I learn from the weigh down book. I love that I'm going to focus on God and not on the counting calories, fat grams or weight. I believe that God didn't make any bad foods and that my body knows when to eat and when to stop. So, I had a bite of a donut today and thats all, just a bite and funny...it was enough. Then I had a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch because I'm really a 12 year old boy stuck in the body of a tired, 37 year old mommy. Today, I'm going to focus on God and make him my idol...not the food network. Love you sweets! (I mean you, not the donut)
I hope that it's going well, Tracy! You can do it!
Of course I support you and want you to be happy and love you with all my heart.
But that's the thing, I love you. We all do. That is why you sent us this link, because you know that we love you. And you know that fat or thin we will love you no matter what. Which is why you can't do this because of the blog, because people are paying attention, or because people are going to comment. Do it for you. In the end, YOU are the only one who really cares about your weight. We just love Tracy.
I wish you all the luck and hope you find the success you are looking for!!
Alright girl, how are you doing? Don't get discouraged....keep going! I know you can do it...even though it sucks and is really hard some (alright, most) days :) The pay off is worth all of the hard work! (Not sure who I'm trying to encourage...you or myself :) Either one, we could both use the positive thoughts! Hang in there, Heidi
How are we doing with the weight loss? Haven't heard anything in awhile, and just wanted to check up on you. Remember, nothing tastes as good as thin feels!!!
Love you.
Hey. Where are the weigh ins on Monday and the posts? I miss you. That is all.
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